The Dimmer Switch

As I have had to learn to navigate vestibular/balance dysfunction I have also had to re-learn a lot of subtle skills I had taken for granted. 

This has created many challenges and also many opportunities for me to question how I want to show up in those moments when it is not easy.  I learned very quickly that my vestibular recovery is incredibly nuanced.  If I don’t challenge it enough, I won't recover. 

If I push it too hard, it easily becomes overwhelmed and shuts down, rendering my vestibular physical therapy ineffective.

Why am I sharing all this?

Because I learned that viewing my vestibular recovery through the lens of a dimmer switch changed everything for me. 

I could turn it up just enough to get the system revved to make meaningful progress, but not so much that it was overwhelmed.  Overwhelm would leave the system unable to pave new neural pathways and relearn how to reintegrate all the balance information my brain receives. 

With a dimmer switch: dial it up, dial it down. 

Fine tuning it in real time.  And things started to move in the right direction.

I wondered, how might this apply elsewhere in life? 

Owning the dimmer switch of my life allows me to adjust to where I am on any given day, in any given moment.  Intensity up.  Intensity down.  It allows for grace.  It anticipates changes are coming.  So I am ready to respond as it feels right. 

And there is power and peace in knowing I can control:

• up/down

• on/off

• subtle/fierce

• harsh/soft

That element of subtle control in a dimmer switch restores the power back to me in a situation that had me feeling so powerless. 

It is as I will have it be.

So I invite you to consider how the notion of a dimmer switch may serve you. 

Is it possible to turn up your self-compassion?  

Can you try to dim the self-criticism or the judgment when it appears?

The best part is that you don’t have to turn off the emotion completely or make it go away, but maybe you can try dialing it down - even just a little. And offer yourself a bit of relief.

originally appeared on www.physicianwayfinder.com blog on Dec 21, 2021